Hai!

The cops irishiness at this precinct in queens make us look mongolian

Leila was in my bed for hours until a few minutes ago

Do you wanna touch (me there yeah)

Ok. Be loved and be held. I get it. Respect.

Yea. Ugh I wish my iPhone were a haas avacado.

yeah mostly just naked sleeping pics. Haha

Can't believe we're finally seniors!!!!!!!!!!

173857264 pasadea boulevard. There's a party. I've SEEN the chicks...

∆∆∆

An owl just landed in a tree ten feet from me

Anal safari

Hanging in my jammers.

i just wanted a frolicking companion

Can't, otherwise no dick sucking

Jajaja ok. But it's gonna mostly white folks where we're going and they don't holler

soooo this party is a room full of hot girls. And three guys. Just saying, i need a friend to talk to.

And when i say that: i am not telling u in a clever way that imade out with your brother. So dont worry!!

shortcakes.....

NBD

I can download an app that tells me when my friends are smoking my weed

And have a not pc version of Oprah in the backyard

I found it to be an adequate love letter to the production value of Xena.

Pretty much. Another bear ate more tities tonight, but not to fear your bday is in the clear

Hope you got webbed feet bro

I wonder what the meaning behind coffee cake donut is?

Grams and hams...?

Was going to systematically have sex with your entire family

Ok sorry if that was confusing. Did your little alec baldwin choke her little reporter?

SMH

Hey sugar

WARNING RUBBING ANAL HAIRS TOGETHER WILL CAUSE ANUSTHAESIC SHOCK IN HETEROSEXUAL MEN

what the hell is going on with these ghost eels

emelio melestevez

Vaginabird, I'm going there to "fuck the party up" so be ready 

how many monkey butlers will there be?

No my friend. I'll be eating the faces. 

ONLY JAH SEES ALL

the smell of death will keep your husband at home.

I don't know how well equine dong keeps...

Swish. Swish.

Thanks for including me in the party...love, MOM

YOLO

Man sitting on the stoop with young boy, 'so neither of your parents are home?'

I shabboted the fuck out of them and retrieved money, paperwork and my appetite

and weiners u fag

fags luv moses.

Im sorry if it sounded like I was calling you a womanizer. I meant funhaver

Aww I blush but the drumb of freedom is marching dawg

TRU. And there'd be a bomb inside her

Captain dickheart

bfd

Can't come to ny, got a jawb

Except no one slept with a prostitute

Look at the Moon

And replace it with pussy

I am not Elian gonzales

br0

Rly hall and oats the moment i leave. You Dick!

Where if in minor always go harmonic is say

No, icicles. Do you want to get a drink sometime?

No im to square dadio for all that jive ass turkey

I am a sparkley being

Wood is a prequel of fire and sun is the preview

And so are you!

The illuminated clouds silhouette the autumn trees. Leaves fall like rain with the sound of a bear approaching in darkness

Haha, more bullshit

b3li3v3

Let the dog out bro

All these hoes that i keep. Cause i turn down pizzas in ma sleep

Bad day reversed instantly

"Hail ewaskio!"

This really hood babies mama on the bus just asked me my boot size and then if i wanted to go for a drink

Yeah i remember. So you survived the snow.

What do australian pirates put on their toast

Dogs

I'll get us some rose call me spaceghost

bbm

Hungover bike texting is very hard

Shut up baby dick

Yes high commander!

Ps its beyond cats, ill tell you about it when we're drunk sometime

Donzo

All the notches in your belt are here

Oh cool. Have fun storming the castle!

Lets fall in love first

Shut up. Baby and dim sum.

Perfectly ripened

err...

You need to get outta town with your brotherly loving and your bill murray and your miracles joints

Sorry if I scared you away with my unfortunate tan lines

Oh man itd better. I fucked it all up. The ladies are sleepy and I'm antsy pantsy

Flameo

Its how they describe menapaus ahhhhhhh!

What has happened to u?

Shitty paradise

tmrw

Love you too yungsneezy!

Since i was 16

Got the oj

Hoopin' dawgz

RIP the thunder horse

You're my only hope.

DrRrTy

Got snow?

I just be making mad biddy friends at splooge

Hide and go play with my ass

?

o shyt

Man on street 'A monkey don't leave a tree unless it got another fucking tree to grab onto. Same with fucking females.'

Mix equal parts 70 proof kahlua with DR. pepper. its great ! its called the dr. creamy, youll see why

Kat andi went grocery shopping and came home and did a lot of special K

I covered every surface with sprayed alcohol no place to sleep

Why would you do that? He trusted you. He fell asleep at your house. And you went and put a carrot in his ass

Jamacan it back ok mon

Holla!!

Hey sorry i'm in a pink mini Cooper limo right now with a gay dude in a blazer. What's up?

Kevin James

How is puppy fishing going? (t9 corrected it to "puppy" so i'll leave it be)

youth is a revolving door which trajects each generation into orbit with the frozen stars

Oh, Hey!!!!!

I hope you have found a fall out shelter, the world appears to be ending.

Ah shitty but get laid.

hum

yeah you too. good luck finding your way.

I'm sorry i thought i wa sending that to google!! ps horse lol

haha okay so a day lilly topped pizza atop an ostrich...

with the slight possibility of a hot tub after!!

The nature in our apt but also a nature show on netflix

Someone stole Sean's fedora. There is a god.

Well yeah i live in bushwick and im taking a pal to baracade although bring women i need to meet some

Make that a giraffe

Every bodys working for the weekend

lololololololololololol

Whats popping tiger shark?

I miss your insults.

Where u at sonny jim mix master slim (the red haired on) ?

let's go swimming

Wakey wakey!

You coming to the party? no is not an option im strung out on uppers as usual

hows my friday man in all his business?

Will you buy me a 40 please i really need to get laid

f u

How was being a sextra

I'm in yr hood. There's a sweet jazz show at union hall.

Thursday bday dinner on deck with fam?

Haha don't worry i'm too drunk too dream and to ornery to cry.

Cool you should add to the ambience and just be shooting up in your underwear when they come.

Don't worry i blue myself all day yesturday and today

Now if you'll excuse me, i have to fall asleep on the sofa accidentally to the sounds of The Wedding Planner starring Jenny from the block. VERY important stuff

FWD: Keg a switchback keg a pbr the lion awakens

it relates to my summer

srsly

Oh right. totally. ive lost track of it but ill regain it tomorrow.

I will send out your love rays.


Yeah! ur right. i want-regret.hope youre to-joy.enthous whiskey-betrayal.passion. indain-thirst.want wheres-freedom! i love it. but dont see how

What. The. Fuck.

MISSIN YOU IS EASY CUZ YOUR BEAUTIFUL Doobee doobee doodooo

? breastscuse me?

Whasumean??